Uncharted: No, not the one with Marky Mark’s cat

Fan from 2012 Found!

A team of Star Chart roving reporters, following up on rumors from hotel staff, located a long-lost fan from Chicon 7. Keith Pavane from Chelm, Ohio had been wandering the tunnels underneath the Hyatt since the 2012 convention in search of the elusive Stagg Field room. When told the whole thing was a joke, Pavane ran off to continue his quest, yelling: “It was in print, so it has to be true!”

The Fabulous Riverwalk Transformation!

For a brief period yesterday morning, the Chicago Riverwalk turned into the Chicago Riverworld as the Fabulous Riverboat (with Mark Twain at its helm) and cruised past the Hyatt Regency hotel to wave at their spiritual successors. On board were Isaac Asimov, Andre Norton, Robert Heinlein, William Tenn, Alice Sheldon, and others. When people on the riverbank asked where they came from, Frederik Pohl said they escaped from the American Writers Museum here in Chicago.

PSA: Mechanical Hound Coffee Safe for Consumption

Despite reports to the contrary, the Mechanical Hound coffee served by the Ray Bradbury Center Table did not cause members of Worldcon 2022 to grow eight legs with rubber padded paws. Please do not panic. We are not yet living in a dystopian future that bans and destroys books for arbitrary reasons… oh, wait.

Site Selection Update: Worldcon 2024 to take place in Moominvalley

Due to a mix-up in the voting process, it was later revealed that the actual site of Worldcon 2024 will be Moominvalley, a lovely place by all accounts (with the rare exception of falling comets).

Hill Books Takes a Year Off From Hugos

At the Chicon 8 Hugo Awards Ceremony, Mr. Howard Hill (the publisher of the eponymous Hill Books) announced that due to Hill’s dominance of the novella category, they would not take part in next year’s Hugo’s competition: “There’s a tradition in the Hugos that when an author or a publication has become too dominant in a category that they take a year off to give other people a chance.”

Hill and its hilldotcom publishing wing has not only owned the novella category, with all six of this year’s finalists. It had four of six finalists for novel and four out of six finalists for best series. “Fans have grown so used to nominating Hill Books for everything,” continued Mr. Hill, “that we even got some nominations for Best Dramatic Presentation… and we don’t even make films! That’s when we knew it was time to take a breather.”

Hill Books will be back for the 2024 Hugo Award.

After Hugos Party in Virtual!

The Virtual Crew hosted a Poll Party in Airmeet after the Hugos. Silly polls abounded and much jollity was had. Do we sense a new Worldcon tradition in the making? The virtual party continued with a poll-based composition of Limericks. Here is an example:

There once was an online convention
with uncountable silly intentions
But airmeet went splatz
overwhelmed by the cats
that unplugged the power extension

And after all that silliness, the crew embarked to the lounge for a series of Jackbox Games. Great fun was had by all.

This hoax post was brought to you by Sam Lubell, Rex Allen Hughes, Eddie Louise, and the mysterious ballot caster for Moominvalley (one report is actually true – can you guess which one?).

Image credit: “moomin valley #01” by yui.kubo is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.

About Rex Allen Hughes

Newsletter Editor and Team Lead, Chicon 8